Working Update

Two weeks ago I started my 32 hour work week. At the same time, a bunch of co-workers were getting ready to go on vacations. Two week vacations. I was asked to pick up some of their weekly assignments so things wouldn't fall behind. I was more than willing to do so, but I was very up front with our managers, telling them that I would have to see what I could do since I wasn't working full time anymore. My usual work load also picked up for some random reason (a lot of my work depends on people who submit reports, if people don't submit I'm slow, and I've been slow for about a year now).
Turns out, I was getting overwhelmed. I couldn't help my co-workers out much. I felt bad, as I have turned into somewhat of a "go to" when people need help. But I had to tell myself I gave everyone fair warning and they could have picked one or two others to delegate to instead. Plus, the reports I had to work on take priority over everything else and since I enjoy doing them I'd rather keep on top of those.

I think things will start settling down once people return from vacation and our weekly assignments go back to the way they were three weeks ago. I've had to tell myself that a lot of my stress at work is coming from things that are only temporary.

I've found that my managers have been super supportive, and even happy for me. One of them has a live-in nanny and told me if it wasn't for the nanny she didn't think she could balance family and work. My direct supervisor told me earlier this week she was happy we were able to accommodate my request because getting to spend time with Baby G is important.

I don't know how many of my co-workers really know. I've gotten a couple of looks from the ladies I share an office with when I show up an hour later than usual and then leave before the rest of them. They haven't asked and I haven't offered up any information (I'm not super close with any of them; it's a weird dynamic). I figure they are smart enough to figure things out or they'll hear it through the grape vine somehow. I guess I still have some guilt over it; I feel a little shameful when I leave, even though I have nothing to be shameful about. I know I'm doing what is best for me and what I think is best for Baby G right now.

From an emotional standpoint, cutting back was really the best thing for me to do. I have had to take the last two days off of work and I'm realizing that Baby G really isn't ready to wake up until after 8am. I can't wait that long, but even the extra hour he gets now that I've cut back seems to help. I'm able to nurse him if he's up for it, I can change him (we were running out the door with him still in PJ's before), I can even play with him for a little bit. I also have time to pack my lunch, get his bag ready, and pump if I need to. I don't have to stress over getting as many things done when I walk through the door after work. I feel a little more calmer in the evenings and that's been awesome.

The only downside is my paycheck. I can still afford my bills and groceries, but that is really about it. After doing the math this week, I realized that I may not have as much as I thought I would for "fun" money. It makes me happy I decided to drop to 32 hours and not the 30 I had originally wanted.

I may actually have to quit my pole class, which makes me extremely upset as it's the one thing as week I can do for myself. But with Baby G growing like a weed (he's in 9 month clothes now and he's only 4 months old!), getting into people food, and all of us moving into an apartment that is going to cost a little more in rent while needing to save money to buy a single family home, I may have to give myself the "it's for the best" talk.

Because it would be for the best!