When Are You Going to Have Another?

I got asked when I was having another baby the day after I had Baby G.

THE NEXT DAY!

I think the question was really coming from a child birth stand point: "You just pushed a human the size of a watermelon out of your vagina, you gonna do it again?" I honestly think it was the person's way of finding out if I'd go through that again or if it scarred me for life.

This might not be as crazy as what I was thinking as I was trying to push Baby G out: "Huh. I could totally do this again! This isn't too bad."

But whatever was going through my mind during labor, I don't think asking that question is appropriate when the mother has recently given birth. Let us enjoy the one we have and get a handle on what we are doing first, please.

"When are you going to have a baby?" and "When are you having another?" My miscarriage taught me that those two questions really should not be asked. (Maybe among people you are close to, but the co-worker you barely speak to shouldn't be asking). They annoy me now. Both when I get asked and when I hear someone else ask another person.

Sometiems people just don't know the journey a woman took to get pregnant in the first place. It may have been easy peesy and getting pregnant would be a no brainer the next time. But it isn't always so easy and you can't tell just by looking at someone whether they got pregnant by simply looking at their spouse or if they struggled for a long time.

I always said I wanted more than one child but no more than five (yes five) and I used to want all boys because girls are drama. After my miscarriage last year it doesn't matter as much what the genders are, just as long as everything turns out fine in the end.

Hubby has other ideas. He only wants two, a boy and a girl. If we get two of the same the first time he could be talked into a third. He wants them bam bam bam, one right after another to get the newborn stage out of the way fast, and started asking me when we could start trying again when Baby G was about a month old.

After having Baby G I am realizing that after the first couple of months, babies are fun and I wouldn't mind a whole bunch of them. But that sounds exhausting so I think I'd be happy with three.

I am not ready to jump in the sack and start trying again. No, no, no. I want to feel more like Emma. I want to be on my Happy Pills for a bit and then be off them at least a couple of months before trying again. I want to enjoy Baby G a while. I want to get my body in better shape. I want more than three months off between pregnancies.

And most of all I'm scared of doing the first couple of months over again. They were exhausting. I was overwhelmed. That alone makes me want to wait.

I told Hubby we can discuss the subject again in January because I want to be pregnant free this holiday season.

But now he seems to be rethinking his plan. He told me the other night he feels too old an tired to have another baby. He isn't old. He's only 30. But his line of work takes a toll on his body and he sometimes works three shifts in a row before he can sleep. So I get where he is coming from. Financially only having one would be easier on us too.

I don't want an only child. And I think Hubby wants a girl bad enough that he will give it at least one more shot.

Clearly, Hubby and I have some things to discuss. But for now I'm in no hurry. I'm just going to enjoy the little one I have now.