Before we got married I promised Hubby one thing: it won't be perfect, but we will look back and say it was wonderful.
When I look back on what it was like parenting and being a mother, I hope I can say the same thing.
For me, parenting begins as soon as I realize I am pregnant. Some women can continue to smoke, drink, eat unhealthy, not exercise and their babies turn out just fine. I don't smoke, I didn't drink (even though I've been craving margaritas and beer like no one's business for months!), and I exercised during most of my pregnancies. But I was still far from the perfect host. I drank coffee and soda (although I did cut back). I couldn't do without my chocolate pastries and cakes and cookies and was eating those things daily. Hubby and I ate out instead of making healthier food at home. Even when I was on bed rest last month, I couldn't lay in bed or on the couch like I was supposed to. I cleaned and was up and down getting food and drinks for myself. I wasn't perfect, but I let myself have my "treats" and Baby G turned out okay.
Now Baby G is one day shy of being three weeks old and every day is a struggle to put my needs aside in order to meet his. Or, technically, it is my wants I struggle putting aside.
I want to sleep. I am finally able to sleep on our new mattress without a big belly getting in the way and I can't because Baby G is a loud sleeper. When I have finally fallen asleep I find myself trying to ignore his cries for a few moments before reminding myself he isn't an alarm clock. I can't hit the snooze button to drift back to sleep for 10 more minutes. I need to fix whatever is bothering him.
I want alone time with the hubby. It is a little hard to get more than a quick hug from him these days. Honestly, I have been jealous seeing Baby G snuggled up against his daddy. That used to be me. For almost 13 years that was me. I have been worried about how parenting will affect our relationship. Will it end up enhancing it somehow? Or will we be so consumed by our kids that we will struggle to make time for us?
I want to blow our tax return on a vacation with Hubby I can enjoy and new clothes and... well, whatever else that catches my fancy. But more than likely our tax return will be used to pay hospital bills and credit cards that we've used to buy last minute baby items.
I want to do those things. I want to do them so, so badly! But I can't. Not for a while anyway. Maybe when Baby G doesn't want to constantly be at my boob and I'm not covered in breast milk and spit up 18 hours of the day.
It's too early to start figuring out if the Cry It Out method will work for us or not. It's too early to start enforcing a set schedule on Baby G. It's too early to do anything other than let Baby G do what he does best right now (eat, poop, sleep, cry), make sure his basic needs are met, talk to him when he's awake, and make sure he's thriving. Basically, make sure he is loved and safe.
At some point Hubby and I will have to make some decisions. What bedtime is best? What bedtime routine do we want to establish? Do we let G cry until he falls asleep? Among other things.
I've read enough blogs and message boards to come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Unfortunately, all the different parenting schools of thought makes other parents judgmental. Heck, it makes non-parents judgmental. I'll admit that before I had Baby G I would criticize the parents at the noisy restaurant at 9pm on a Wednesday with their infant and toddler in toe. "Those kids should be in bed!" I'd tell Hubby, who would always agree.
But what works for one family doesn't always work for another. Maybe there were circumstances we weren't aware of that led the family to eating dinner out so late. Only they know what is best for them.
I'm sure to another parent I've already broken several "parenting rules" in the almost-three-weeks I have spent with G. I'll blame that one on being a new mom. I haven't done this before. What do I know? (Actually, more than I may think -- those mothering instincts have kicked in even though I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time.)
Being a parent is a lot of work. Hard work. Some days I have felt like I can't do it, but I chug along, making the best decisions I can based on the circumstances I'm given and doing the best that I can. Until someone discovers a universal way of parenting, I'm going to be the best parent I can be: wonderfully imperfect.
When I look back on what it was like parenting and being a mother, I hope I can say the same thing.
For me, parenting begins as soon as I realize I am pregnant. Some women can continue to smoke, drink, eat unhealthy, not exercise and their babies turn out just fine. I don't smoke, I didn't drink (even though I've been craving margaritas and beer like no one's business for months!), and I exercised during most of my pregnancies. But I was still far from the perfect host. I drank coffee and soda (although I did cut back). I couldn't do without my chocolate pastries and cakes and cookies and was eating those things daily. Hubby and I ate out instead of making healthier food at home. Even when I was on bed rest last month, I couldn't lay in bed or on the couch like I was supposed to. I cleaned and was up and down getting food and drinks for myself. I wasn't perfect, but I let myself have my "treats" and Baby G turned out okay.
Now Baby G is one day shy of being three weeks old and every day is a struggle to put my needs aside in order to meet his. Or, technically, it is my wants I struggle putting aside.
I want to sleep. I am finally able to sleep on our new mattress without a big belly getting in the way and I can't because Baby G is a loud sleeper. When I have finally fallen asleep I find myself trying to ignore his cries for a few moments before reminding myself he isn't an alarm clock. I can't hit the snooze button to drift back to sleep for 10 more minutes. I need to fix whatever is bothering him.
I want alone time with the hubby. It is a little hard to get more than a quick hug from him these days. Honestly, I have been jealous seeing Baby G snuggled up against his daddy. That used to be me. For almost 13 years that was me. I have been worried about how parenting will affect our relationship. Will it end up enhancing it somehow? Or will we be so consumed by our kids that we will struggle to make time for us?
I want to blow our tax return on a vacation with Hubby I can enjoy and new clothes and... well, whatever else that catches my fancy. But more than likely our tax return will be used to pay hospital bills and credit cards that we've used to buy last minute baby items.
I want to do those things. I want to do them so, so badly! But I can't. Not for a while anyway. Maybe when Baby G doesn't want to constantly be at my boob and I'm not covered in breast milk and spit up 18 hours of the day.
It's too early to start figuring out if the Cry It Out method will work for us or not. It's too early to start enforcing a set schedule on Baby G. It's too early to do anything other than let Baby G do what he does best right now (eat, poop, sleep, cry), make sure his basic needs are met, talk to him when he's awake, and make sure he's thriving. Basically, make sure he is loved and safe.
At some point Hubby and I will have to make some decisions. What bedtime is best? What bedtime routine do we want to establish? Do we let G cry until he falls asleep? Among other things.
I've read enough blogs and message boards to come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Unfortunately, all the different parenting schools of thought makes other parents judgmental. Heck, it makes non-parents judgmental. I'll admit that before I had Baby G I would criticize the parents at the noisy restaurant at 9pm on a Wednesday with their infant and toddler in toe. "Those kids should be in bed!" I'd tell Hubby, who would always agree.
But what works for one family doesn't always work for another. Maybe there were circumstances we weren't aware of that led the family to eating dinner out so late. Only they know what is best for them.
I'm sure to another parent I've already broken several "parenting rules" in the almost-three-weeks I have spent with G. I'll blame that one on being a new mom. I haven't done this before. What do I know? (Actually, more than I may think -- those mothering instincts have kicked in even though I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time.)
Being a parent is a lot of work. Hard work. Some days I have felt like I can't do it, but I chug along, making the best decisions I can based on the circumstances I'm given and doing the best that I can. Until someone discovers a universal way of parenting, I'm going to be the best parent I can be: wonderfully imperfect.
No comments:
Post a Comment