Thoughts on my first ICLW

I completed my first IComLeavWe this past week. I didn't think it would be hard, but finding the time to read, comment, and reply to the comments made on my blog proved very hard with my schedule. That said, here are my thoughts on my first ICLW:

 

• I want to do this again. It was comforting coming across a blogger who had the same thoughts and fears I have felt over the last year. It definitely made me feel less alone. It also made me feel good to have the opportunity give advice or let others know, Hey, I've been there. I know how you feel!
• Next time I participate, I need to make sure I really have time to to it. Because of my busy schedule, I was doing most of my reading and commenting of other blogs at work. I realized quickly that this wasn't the best plan. So many posts brought me to tears as I got glimpses into other peoples lives and losses and struggles. Anyone who is willing to put their stories out there is brave and I admire all of them, whether I read their blog or not. I did this during the one year anniversary of finding out about the loss of my first baby. I was an emotional mess for the first two days of ICLW, which probably attributed to some of the water works. At least I could have played off the tears as third trimester hormones if anyone had questioned me. 
• I found a few more blogs to follow. Yay for 4am reading material! 
• I am not totally sure what to say in my comments to blogs I visited. I apologize if any of them seemed awkward. I'm used to just reading blogs and ICLW started to help come out of my Blogger Shell a little. There were a lot of blogs written by women struggling with infertility. I haven't had a problem with getting pregnant. I have only had one loss and it was an early one at that. I have only felt the fear and worry that I could have problems conceiving and staying pregnant. It made me feel like I am in a category all my own. A simple "Hello from ICLW" didn't seem to be enough. But I didn't always know how to write a relateable comment either. I'll admit, the fear of the writers coming over to my blog only to see that I've had one loss and really no struggle to get pregnant kept me from commenting on a lot of blogs. I'm hoping that the more I get into blogging and putting myself out there, the easier all this will become for me. 
• On the flip side, even if I've been scared to comment, some of those women haven't been scared to leave comments for me and welcome me into the community. It definitely made me happy that I found Stirrup Queens' blog and gave ICLW a shot. 
• I suck at commenting back. I'm not used to having people comment on my blog, so it was a struggle to even remember to check for them every day. It was also a new experience to pick a comment to comment back on. I felt like it would be polite to respond to every ones comments, but there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day for me at the moment. I cheated, picked the post that had the most comments and wrote a general one back to everyone who wrote one. This does not make me feel good about myself and I vow to be a lot better the next time I sign up.

I'm on the fence about participating this month. My due date is the 28th. I could very well get through it all with no problem. But I can't help but think, What if I have my baby during that week? I won't be able to follow through again. For sure I'm planning on doing it again in April when I'm on leave though!