We tried, briefly, to name our little girl earlier this year. But, of course, we couldn't agree on anything and I didn't want to use a name I had set on a living child. That might make me sound bad, but I want her name to mean something more than "because Mommy really liked the name" because she is the first thing I've ever honest-to-goodness, 100% for sure, fallen in love with at first sight. So we have tabled that discussion for when we are done having children.
There is a stereotype out there that a woman has her wedding planned and her kid's names picked out by the time she is ten years old.
Maybe she does. But when the time comes, things can get complicated. You have a significant other who, hopefully, has a working brain and therefore an opinion. What seemed like an easy decision when you were 10 is now not so easy.
I didn't really have my entire wedding planned out in my head beforehand, but I have had a list of baby names that has been filed away in a shadowy corner of my brain since I was about 16. The list has gone through a few revisions, but there are a few names that have prevailed over the last 13 or so years.
We don't have a name for Little Guy yet. Honestly, we really haven't had a serious discussion about it yet. Surprisingly, I haven't been stressing about not having a name picked out by now. I feel like I should be stressing considering I am nearing my third trimester and could have Little Guy at any time. I've only just borrowed a book from the library so Hubby and I can flip through it and write down names we each like. Hubby made the comment several months ago, "What if we pick out a name but feel like the baby doesn't look like that name when it's born?"
I feel he has a point, although I have a hard time believing I'll be able to look at our baby and not think of any names other than ones best suited for an 80 year old man. I'm noticing that a lot of newborns look like elderly men. Cute and wrinkly.
I decided in January, when I was pregnant with our little girl, that I did not want to tell anyone what we would name our baby. I had heard of women doing this and thought they were crazy. Why would you keep that a secret? What if someone wants to give you things with the baby's name on it?
Then January came, the month we decided to tell our families we were pregnant. My mother-in-law started suggesting names and wanted a run down of my grandparents' names. The look on her face when I told her what my grandmothers' names were told me exactly why women keep the name a secret. Granted, I don't plan on naming any future daughters of mine after my grandmothers, but my MIL's reaction told me that if I wanted to she wouldn't like it. That night I decided that no one would know what name we chose until we introduced them to the baby. I know it sounds silly, but I feel like someone may have a less negative reaction when they are face to face with an actual baby rather than the idea of one.
I signed up at the What to Expect website back in August. Since then I have become an avid reader of my birth month's message board. As everyone was moving past the first trimester, I started seeing more and more posts from women who wanted advice on what to name their babies. They'd poll us for first names and middle names. They'd want to know if we liked their chosen names versus their significant other's choice. I read about fights that ensued between significant others because they couldn't agree. Or worse, the frustration these women were feeling when they told family and friends what their baby's name was and received unkind words in return.
To be honest, I didn't get it at first. I have always felt that naming your baby is a personal decision. Was the polling really necessary?
When we found out we were having a boy, I silently went through my list of boys names and realized I didn't want to use half of the names on there. Either I ended up knowing someone with that name and I didn't like them or someone in Hubby's family already had that name. Granted, it was a small list to begin with, but realizing a bunch of names are a no-go for me now, I was left feeling like I had to start from scratch.
This annoyed me at first, but after I got over my disappointment I realized that it might make things a little easier. If I don't have my heart set on a certain name then I can be more open to Hubby's suggestions instead of being stubborn and insisting on my own.
Now that I'm definitely showing, a question I get asked a lot now is "Have you chosen a name?" I've been honest and say "No", which then opens up some kind of invisible forum for people to give us name suggestions. This may not bother some people, but it annoys the snot out of me.
I had to endure three (yes THREE) separate conversations at Hubby's company holiday party on what names would be good to consider. The worst part was I couldn't simply walk away. And I wasn't comfortable telling Hubby's co-workers, who I barely know, that the subject was not up for discussion. At one point Hubby mentioned the name he has brought to the table for Little Guy. It didn't go over very well.
By the end of the night, I understood why so many women are willing to ask the opinions of others on a message board. Who else do they have to ask? It's an online forum. These women probably don't have a personal attachment to anyone else on the board. No one has to see the look of disgust they could receive from loved ones who they figured would love any name they chose (or even considering) for the baby everyone is so excited about. I hope I don't have to ask strangers on the internet for help in naming my baby, but I'll do it in a heartbeat if it means I don't have to see disappointment, dislike, or even downright hatred in people's faces (though I still run the risk of reading about it).
There is a stereotype out there that a woman has her wedding planned and her kid's names picked out by the time she is ten years old.
Maybe she does. But when the time comes, things can get complicated. You have a significant other who, hopefully, has a working brain and therefore an opinion. What seemed like an easy decision when you were 10 is now not so easy.
I didn't really have my entire wedding planned out in my head beforehand, but I have had a list of baby names that has been filed away in a shadowy corner of my brain since I was about 16. The list has gone through a few revisions, but there are a few names that have prevailed over the last 13 or so years.
We don't have a name for Little Guy yet. Honestly, we really haven't had a serious discussion about it yet. Surprisingly, I haven't been stressing about not having a name picked out by now. I feel like I should be stressing considering I am nearing my third trimester and could have Little Guy at any time. I've only just borrowed a book from the library so Hubby and I can flip through it and write down names we each like. Hubby made the comment several months ago, "What if we pick out a name but feel like the baby doesn't look like that name when it's born?"
I feel he has a point, although I have a hard time believing I'll be able to look at our baby and not think of any names other than ones best suited for an 80 year old man. I'm noticing that a lot of newborns look like elderly men. Cute and wrinkly.
I decided in January, when I was pregnant with our little girl, that I did not want to tell anyone what we would name our baby. I had heard of women doing this and thought they were crazy. Why would you keep that a secret? What if someone wants to give you things with the baby's name on it?
Then January came, the month we decided to tell our families we were pregnant. My mother-in-law started suggesting names and wanted a run down of my grandparents' names. The look on her face when I told her what my grandmothers' names were told me exactly why women keep the name a secret. Granted, I don't plan on naming any future daughters of mine after my grandmothers, but my MIL's reaction told me that if I wanted to she wouldn't like it. That night I decided that no one would know what name we chose until we introduced them to the baby. I know it sounds silly, but I feel like someone may have a less negative reaction when they are face to face with an actual baby rather than the idea of one.
I signed up at the What to Expect website back in August. Since then I have become an avid reader of my birth month's message board. As everyone was moving past the first trimester, I started seeing more and more posts from women who wanted advice on what to name their babies. They'd poll us for first names and middle names. They'd want to know if we liked their chosen names versus their significant other's choice. I read about fights that ensued between significant others because they couldn't agree. Or worse, the frustration these women were feeling when they told family and friends what their baby's name was and received unkind words in return.
To be honest, I didn't get it at first. I have always felt that naming your baby is a personal decision. Was the polling really necessary?
When we found out we were having a boy, I silently went through my list of boys names and realized I didn't want to use half of the names on there. Either I ended up knowing someone with that name and I didn't like them or someone in Hubby's family already had that name. Granted, it was a small list to begin with, but realizing a bunch of names are a no-go for me now, I was left feeling like I had to start from scratch.
This annoyed me at first, but after I got over my disappointment I realized that it might make things a little easier. If I don't have my heart set on a certain name then I can be more open to Hubby's suggestions instead of being stubborn and insisting on my own.
Now that I'm definitely showing, a question I get asked a lot now is "Have you chosen a name?" I've been honest and say "No", which then opens up some kind of invisible forum for people to give us name suggestions. This may not bother some people, but it annoys the snot out of me.
I had to endure three (yes THREE) separate conversations at Hubby's company holiday party on what names would be good to consider. The worst part was I couldn't simply walk away. And I wasn't comfortable telling Hubby's co-workers, who I barely know, that the subject was not up for discussion. At one point Hubby mentioned the name he has brought to the table for Little Guy. It didn't go over very well.
By the end of the night, I understood why so many women are willing to ask the opinions of others on a message board. Who else do they have to ask? It's an online forum. These women probably don't have a personal attachment to anyone else on the board. No one has to see the look of disgust they could receive from loved ones who they figured would love any name they chose (or even considering) for the baby everyone is so excited about. I hope I don't have to ask strangers on the internet for help in naming my baby, but I'll do it in a heartbeat if it means I don't have to see disappointment, dislike, or even downright hatred in people's faces (though I still run the risk of reading about it).
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